We learn by being exposed to our failings and we learn if we have a quality coach who helps us overcome our failings in order to improve. Players need quality coaches.

Next time you are at your child’s soccer match, watch the coach.

Is the coach a shouter, a screamer, pointing fingers, issuing instructions, telling the players what to do and arguing with the referee? If so, then that person is not a coach. That person is toxic, and that person is harming your child.

Find a coach who is kind, quiet, reflective and calm. Find a coach who coaches the game during the week and at the weekend when the game is being played, stays quiet and lets the kids play the game.

Whilst you are looking across the field at the coach, why not take a look along the line at the parents. Are they shouters and screamers? Are they criticizing the referee? Are they shouting at the opposition players? Are they telling the players how to play the game?

Ask yourself the hard question: ARE YOU ONE OF THESE PARENTS?

If your child was in a park or the back garden climbing a tree, would you tell them where they needed to put their hands and feet in order to go up the tree? Would you scream at them if they made a mistake? Of course not, so why do you feel the need to tell them to run, to kick the ball, to do this and to do that on the soccer field?

Do you know what success is built upon? It is not built upon winning youth soccer games. The paradox of success is that it is in fact built upon failure. Every time your child fails in the game, do not criticize but rather applaud, because failure is a step closer to success.

Learning from mistakes can only be achieved by implementing a change in attitude. And as a parent, the only question you ever need to ask a child after sport is; did you have fun?

Youth soccer games are never about winning but always about developing. That is a really hard concept to grasp. My children have played in the lowest leagues, against the worst teams, have never paid to play the game and lost 80% of the games they played in, yet they are now playing at the highest level in Texas and are the best players in their respective age groups.

Why? Because it was always about developing and now that they have reached the age of competition, they have the skillset to dominate the ball and the opponent.